Darn. i hate nick of time changes passionately because it literally means that i have to reconsider my intentions that i've implanted for that specific period of time *-* Why can't things run smoothly as planned?

Yeah! I made it through my FTT. It really feels really good. Finally i begin to learn that perfect practice really does make perfect (:

If you were to ask me this: "What do you usually do when I'm gone?"

I would gladly answer: "Wait for you to come back."

I lost control, yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset, within ten golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. The words spilled suddenly and unexpectedly, came out before i could yank the leash. I wished i could take them back. Swallow them. But they were out. All nothing but the truth. It's just too bad, pickle. Who told you to step on my side of the block? There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, pickle. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. So please get your facts darn right beforehand. I'm tired of smiling- artificially to begin with, whenever you are around. It's high time to get rid of the rotten apple in the small barrel. By then, my world would be going great. Call me evil. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Alright, my negativity is getting to its brim already. Let's not dwell on that anymore. I think I've had more than one cup of sweet revenge for the week. I must start being me again. I miss my Bf so much more now. He has to work for a long stretch of days before he can finally have a good rest. Sigh, poor thing. I love you sweetheart. Yeah, it goes without saying (: Meanwhile, I'm mentally preparing for FTT this coming week. Once it is cleared, i can then just concentrate on my practical lessons. Hopefully, i could earn a license by February. I am indeed very pleased that I've skipped this far and still making the effort to realise my dreams. Of course,it comes with pure hard work. I don't get expenses from my parents anymore, i dig for every cent myself. If God willing, i would love to bring my whole family for holiday. Hmmm, soon maybe.

Everybody's hell is different. It is not only fire and pain. The real hell is when my life accidentally goes wrong. I incredibly don't understand why i have to put up with mean and hateful people every now and then? She turned out to be exactly who i thought she were. I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along. & it was me whom you bitched about in front of them. Look,I'm not here to just plainly grumble unnecessarily,okay? I want you to know that i know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was,but I'm not anymore. & the thing is,i really don't effing care what people might think about me because i believe in myself. & i know that things are going to turn out good eventually.Even though to such critical extent whereby i have no family,no job and no money for anything at all- it is still you that i feel sorry for, Ayu.